ST. PATRICK'S DAY - THE GREEN STRIKES BACK!

Apparently it was the patron saint of Ireland's day yesterday - I pleasd ignorant on account of the fact I'm not of the Sunday bikerider persuasion, and Pat seems to be one of the very few saints overlooked here in Iberia. Today IS a public holiday here for a different saint - San Jose (do YOU know the way?). This is also the day that the Spanish celebrate Father's Day - you're all smart enough to work out the connection between Saint Joseph and 'fatherhood' - suffice to say that it is another example of the Spanish having their priorities right in declaring a public holiday for Dads!! But I digress..........

The thing is, after months and months of scouring and researching, I have come to a final conclusion that the Irish have played the ULTIMATE IRISH JOKE upon we the people of Gondwana, the Great Southern Land. My Quest has now expanded from seeking the ultimate 'strong skinny latte' outside the Antipodes to also including a search for the Holy Grail of leaves, i.e. tea leaves. You see, apart from the aforementioned cafe, I also delight in the wonderful taste of Irish Breakfast Tea; you know the one, it comes in a dark green box (surprise, surprise) and is marketed by Twinings. When we can, we drink boxes of it. Now to be fair, the Spanish are not tea drinkers. BUT, I've been to every supermercado chain in Madrid and they look at me as if I have two heads when I seek my elixir of choice. ENGLISH Breakfast - no problems, Darjeeling, Ceylon, herbal, vomit in a bag (i.e Earl Grey), you name it and they have it; in Granada you couldn't find enough sticks to poke at the different teas they purvey (due, of course, to the close links with north African countries).

The Ultimate Irish Joke - On Us!

And so, on my last two trips to London, I have extended my Quest to such places as Tesco, Marks & Spencer, and even the best tea store on the planet - Fortnum & Mason. Thye result - ZIPPO! The extremely erudite and polite public affairs consultant (formerly sales assistant) in F&M even went as far as to advise me that what I really meant was Irish BLEND as there was NO SUCH THING AS IRISH BREAKFAST. Finally, at last month's INC Madrid luncheon (that's International Newcomers Club - an absolutely lovely bunch of predominantly English ladies who now count me as a member!), I raised the subject of my tea quest and lo, they too had never heard of this strange brew.

Finally I am left with one conclusion - they only place where Twinings (indeed, anyone) sells Irish Breakfast Tea is in the LAND OF OZ! Now THAT has to be a joke of inverse Irish proportions. So, if you're venturing to the Iberian peninsula and will be catching up with the LegsyBoys, could you please throw a box of Twinings Irish Breakfast Tea in your swag for us please. I have one solitary teabag left which I now keep next to my computer as proof that I am not going insane! Curse those Irishmen!