QUESTS GALORE.....

Valencia is a city of contrasts, a place for perfect summer relaxation, curiously run down and yet within the Old Town some wonderful sights and experiences.

Calamares Playa, ice cold Coke Light, a great book and shade - PERFECTO!

There are beautifully maintained haciendas adorned with distinctive Spanish wrought iron balconies, and narrow side streets bristle with cafes.

You WILL like our food...and it was actually very nice )no, really it was!)

There are two main markets, the first offering a more contemporary range of food stalls and cafes,

but the second is a jewel. The current Valencia Central Market was erected in 1915 but there has been a market here since the 14th century. It throbs with activity and lusciously fresh produce from the usual to the unexpected - plenty of offal on hand amongst the vegies and fruit, and more caracoles (snails) than Don L has ever seen - where's the garlic butter when you need it!

They're all still alive!!!

 

God knows what it is...

...I have no idea what it is!

Located on the bustling Plaza del Reina, Valencia Cathedral was constructed in 1238 and if King Arthur had known what is held here then he'd have pointed Concord in the direction of Valencia to fulfill his elusive quest. Although more than one city claims to possess this relic, it's generally regarded that this is the resting place of the Holy Grail, the very chalice used at the Last Supper. The good news is that the cathedral roof is still intact after our visit!

The Holy Grail

Priceless - both of them.

Luckily, not all the hotel staff treated us with disdain, and we were given some helpful hints on our quest to find the true heart and soul of Valencia - paella - for this is the city of its creation. We walk into the Old Town and down some suitably 'local' alleys before finding our destination.

Our Paella Valenciana takes about 25 minutes to cook and it is, in a word, DELICIOUS. Served in a searing iron caldero it's jammed full of vegetables, chicken and rice (duh), and having ticked the paella box we decide that on our last day we should try the popular seafood variant of this fabulous dish.

Delish!!!

On our last day at breakfast, we manage to consume copious quantities of freshly squeezed zuma (juice) from another of the city's great gifts to the world, the Valencia Orange, then get in a few minutes of exercise in the park and a quick paddle before heading to the beach.

Good for the hammies....

.....should've been a cowby

The team hit the sand whilst Don L chooses our dining spot, and the winner is.......Cafe Zaragoza. Herein lies perhaps the greatest Manuel Moment we have ever experienced in this beautiful country.......

As la familia pack themselves up from sunbaking and swimming, Don L beckons a waiter and places the lunch order.....dos Fanta Naranja (2 Fanta Oranges), dos copas de vino blanco (2 glasses of white wine), Paella Marinara (you can work that one out), Patatas Bravas, and alitas de pollo a la barbacoa (BBQ chicken wings) POR FAVOR (!!) and we settle in for the 25 minute wait. Time's up and the patatas and alitas have arrived, no sign of our paella. A polite enquiry (in both Spanish and English) to "our" waiter is ignored and in the meantime we order 2 more glasses of wine from a different (male) waiter. Forty five minutes and "our" waiter walks past with three calderos of paella, looks at us and says "NOT YOURS!" and places them at a table that has been occupied for only 10 minutes. Meanwhile, a (female) drinks waitress advises us that we can only have  one glass of white wine as they've run out of white wine (no, seriously) and the concept of popping over the road to the supermarket to get more hasn't occurred to them. She offers (and we accept) a glass of rose instead which arrives 10 minutes later. Dulcinea has a sip (not too baad) and then the original drinks waiter confiscates the glass thinking it's the wrong order (you still with me!). We finally retrieve the partially consumed rose, not before further calderos pass us, none for us.

The infamous glass of rose....

After 70 minutes, Don L has had enough, grabs another waiter (who spoke perfect English) and proceeded to chew him a new backside..."it's coming, it's coming"....and after 80 minutes so it did, stone cold caldero filled with paella that was so cold it had coagulated.

Would you eat this??

This may shock you, but we paid the bill. Dulcinea (bless her) entered the cafe and proceeded to take a photograph(s) of "our" waiter and was followed out by the manager demanding the camera so that he could erase the photo(s) - needless to say this didn't happen.

Prat Of The Year

"I shall call the police" was rebuffed by the Australian Boadicea with "go ahead"....and so he did! As we departed, other diners congratulated us on our actions as they too had been having the dining experience from hell. The manager followed us out onto the boardwalk and 'called' the police again (he could have shouted to them as the police station was only 100 metres up the boardwalk), insisting that we wait for them to arrive. And so, with clearly nervous children in tow (Buzzy was terrified we were about to be arrested), Don L and the Firebrand strolled off, past the police station (!!) to continue on another quest. When eating at the beachside bistros, nobody expects perfection, nor do you expect it to be cheap. Over 4 different days, we were treated respectfully and served reasonable to good food, until Cafe Zaragoza. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVER GO THERE!

Adjacent to the beach was Valencia's only other 5-star hotel, Las Arenas.

In need of a calming elixir, we decided on testing it out, and it lived right up to its rating, providing us with exceptionally friendly service.

Here too was a place for Don L to continue his one true quest, and the strong skinny latte was duly ordered; here's the result.......

....the Quest continues.....

Walking back along the boardwalk, we watched a Futevolei tournament, basically beach volleyball without using hands. The participants were very skilled, best of all we managed to score a few bottles of the sponsor's product.

...nice....

Searching for a bargain

Aha - the genuine plastic shark tooth for only 1 euro!

Valencia boardwalking

We've enjoyed Valencia, and not even our Manuel Moment could detract from things (indeed, hindsight makes light of it). Back in Madrid, we attend the consulate to find that we've been approved, so we're Poms again and the window for visitors has been extended to 31st January 2017!

We decide to try one of Madrid's newest culinary ventures, Platea. Once a picture theatre (silent movies are shown on the screen), it is now a multi-storied restaurant and night club, with a host of tapas bars. Best of all, it's the brainchild of several of Madrid's finest Michelin chefs including Paco Roncero and Ramon Freixa. The food is just delicious and reasonably priced, so should you get a chance then don't miss it (and it's right around the corner from the relocated Streetxo).

Before flying out there's time for the kids to have a sleepover with some of their old friends, Dulcinea to do some more bargain hunting and Don L to again have a delightful fusion lunch with the belleza pelirroja de Irlanda.

We're legal aliens in the UK again, and in doing so got to again experience one of the planet's truly great countries. Hope you had a good summer holiday too.