SHIRLEY YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!!

Take a look at this article recently published in The Daily Mail....................

Now I don't wish  pass judgement on this outrageous decision, but WHAT IS GOING ON?? Since when has the fundamental flaw in the female DNA been grounds for divorce? Is it poor old Mark's fault that the fairer sex are, in most cases, devoid of the three dimensional directional skills of those with testosterone flowing through their veins? The answer is, OF COURSE NOT! Put your hand up if you (as in male you) have never been left frustrated at the apparent inability of your nearest and dearest to either read a street directory or map, or understand what a GPS actually articulates. Why, even the judge acknowledged that he has suffered this frustration, so how on God's earth can he uphold a divorce on such petty grounds. Seems to me that the former Mrs. Howell couldn't take constructive criticism (these days apparently referred to in the workplace as 'bullying'). I am the first to say that the femme fatale is one of God's greatest creations, but none of God's creatures are perfect, and one of the very few imperfections in the female homo erectus is MAP READING.....and cooking (again, that is NOT necessarily MY opinion, but merely an acknowledgement that 99% of the great chefs of the world are, in fact - male). I for one, would never get into an argument over how to cook the perfect tortilla, but when it comes to discussing the shortest route to the supermercado to but the eggs - well that 's a hervidor de pesces altogether!!!

ST. PATRICK'S DAY - THE GREEN STRIKES BACK!

Apparently it was the patron saint of Ireland's day yesterday - I pleasd ignorant on account of the fact I'm not of the Sunday bikerider persuasion, and Pat seems to be one of the very few saints overlooked here in Iberia. Today IS a public holiday here for a different saint - San Jose (do YOU know the way?). This is also the day that the Spanish celebrate Father's Day - you're all smart enough to work out the connection between Saint Joseph and 'fatherhood' - suffice to say that it is another example of the Spanish having their priorities right in declaring a public holiday for Dads!! But I digress..........

The thing is, after months and months of scouring and researching, I have come to a final conclusion that the Irish have played the ULTIMATE IRISH JOKE upon we the people of Gondwana, the Great Southern Land. My Quest has now expanded from seeking the ultimate 'strong skinny latte' outside the Antipodes to also including a search for the Holy Grail of leaves, i.e. tea leaves. You see, apart from the aforementioned cafe, I also delight in the wonderful taste of Irish Breakfast Tea; you know the one, it comes in a dark green box (surprise, surprise) and is marketed by Twinings. When we can, we drink boxes of it. Now to be fair, the Spanish are not tea drinkers. BUT, I've been to every supermercado chain in Madrid and they look at me as if I have two heads when I seek my elixir of choice. ENGLISH Breakfast - no problems, Darjeeling, Ceylon, herbal, vomit in a bag (i.e Earl Grey), you name it and they have it; in Granada you couldn't find enough sticks to poke at the different teas they purvey (due, of course, to the close links with north African countries).

The Ultimate Irish Joke - On Us!

And so, on my last two trips to London, I have extended my Quest to such places as Tesco, Marks & Spencer, and even the best tea store on the planet - Fortnum & Mason. Thye result - ZIPPO! The extremely erudite and polite public affairs consultant (formerly sales assistant) in F&M even went as far as to advise me that what I really meant was Irish BLEND as there was NO SUCH THING AS IRISH BREAKFAST. Finally, at last month's INC Madrid luncheon (that's International Newcomers Club - an absolutely lovely bunch of predominantly English ladies who now count me as a member!), I raised the subject of my tea quest and lo, they too had never heard of this strange brew.

Finally I am left with one conclusion - they only place where Twinings (indeed, anyone) sells Irish Breakfast Tea is in the LAND OF OZ! Now THAT has to be a joke of inverse Irish proportions. So, if you're venturing to the Iberian peninsula and will be catching up with the LegsyBoys, could you please throw a box of Twinings Irish Breakfast Tea in your swag for us please. I have one solitary teabag left which I now keep next to my computer as proof that I am not going insane! Curse those Irishmen!

FLYING VISITS...

Recently I've made two flying visits to London, on both occasions to see concerts. The first was to attend a John Murry (his 'The Graceless Age' was my choice as Album Of The Year in 2012) show at The Borderline and then a Richard Thompson double header at the Shepherd's Bush Empire and The Barbican. If you click on the Rhythms magazine link on the homepage you can read about the Murry show, and the RT shows will be there shortly.



The Borderline

John Murry at The Borderline









Shepherds Bush Empire

With the exception of another metropolis with a dirty river running through the centre of it, there's no other place on the planet that gets me more excited than London; put simply, I just love everything about the place and it's my favourite non-Antipodean city. As the Iberian balus approaches Heathrow from the east, it comes in low right over the place, and as you look out the window its glory is all laid out in front of you - Greenwich, the mighty O2 stadium, the Gerkhin, the new and controversial Shard building, Tower Bridge, the Houses of Parliament, the....well, I could go on and on. Clearing Customs in the UK is different to the rest of Europe (for obvious reasons I guess) and I take note of two groups of travellers. Firstly, there's a Japanese tour group resplendent with face masks (I'm not aware of a flu epidemic nor have I noticed how polluted the terminal air is!) who are promptly required to remove the offending garments for facial ID; seems logical to me. Second is a group with numerous members wearing full burkas, and I'm intrigued as to the protocols involved. The ladies aren't required to remove their groovy headgear, which initially surprises me. Instead, they have all their fingerprints scanned, which strikes me as damned clever thinking by the authorities in handling what is a sensitive issue. (Two Travel Tips: 1. If you can a Fast Lane pass for Heathrow customs clearance then do so - it takes ages. 2. If you're gonna wear a burka, make sure you're fingerprints are recorded!).

A Man Needs A Maid

The en-suite

 I've got a little apartment in North Gower Street just 800 metres from Euston Station ( Two Travel Tips: 1. If you use the Heathrow Express, book it online as it saves you about $15 - and you'll need every cent in London! 2. Buy a day pass for the tube if you're going to use it more than once. At 4.50 for a single trip - regardless of how far - then it's a no brainer to pay 8.50 for a ticket that lets you on as many times as you like). It is the very definition of 'bedsit', with a bathroom designed for people less than 5 foot tall and a shower recess too narrow to actually close the screen door (you can actually sit on the loo and wash your feet at the same time) - but it's home. I don't need to visit landmarks and monuments whilst here, so I choose to just wander and check out record and book stores, and update myself on the West End's cuisine. First night I stroll down to Fitzrovia to meet up with good friends Andrew and Kate Haworth for dinner. Kate & Jimbo have booked a Japanese restaurant called ROKA (37 Charlotte St).

Roka - So good no need to advertise

Roka menu - delicious

We leave it up to Kate to explore the menu and do the ordering; I should have taken more notice, but it was so good catching up with them that I neglected to note in detail what we actually ate (by that I mean the finer points of what was ordered), other than it was simply outstanding. I appreciate that variety is one of the spices of life, but I will be returning to Roka. Jimbo, like me, enjoys a quality cup of coffee (clearly one of the few reasons he's deferred visiting Madrid so far!), and is also on a quest to find a decent coffee in London - not an easy task. He and Kate give me a short list of cafes that will rise to the occasion of a visit from LegsyBoy. It's been great to catch up and AndyBoy has very kindly picked up the tab (my shout when they come to Madrid); as we walk towards the tube station, I bid them adios and duck into the Odeon Cinema on Tottenham Court Road to see Quentin Tarantino's new WESTERN film 'Django Unchained' - it's only worth *** and reinstates my dislike of Leo DiCaprio.

The legendary Ronnie Scott's

Bar Italia - Great coffee

Koya - Before the midday rush





Onsen Tamago - mmmm mmm!



Kinoku - Looks good enough to eat

Next day I roam the streets and duck into Tabio (the world's BEST SOCK emprium) to replensih the LegsyBoy stocks of socks (the staff are duly impressed to see me wearing a pair of limited edition Joker socks made exclusively for the Batman movie!). I do some book/record stores (but this will be another story) before heading to Frith Street and the haven of the ever reliable old favourite Bar Italia; located across the street from the famous Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, it's a guaranteed quality coffee oasis. I decide to try Jimbo's recommendation for  lunch at a place literally next door to Ronnie Scott's called KOYA. The Haworths have warned me to get there early, so at 11.50am I pop my head out of Bar Italia to see a QUEUE forming across the road waiting for the doors to open at this tiny eatery. I get in and order an Onsen Tamago (poached egg) and KINOKO UDON (mushroom & walnut miso with noodles). I quickly realise what the fuss is about and the seemingly endless queue of punters trying to get in. I chat to the maitre and discover that the noodles (as thick as a little finger) are made daily on the premises, and that when they run out of noodles they shut the doors! Rating: ***** The taste buds are zinging as I walk back out into the seriously chilly afternoon. Have I mentioned the weather? London is utterly freezing - I love it!

Fortnum & Mason front window



F&M high tea - ooh la la!

A bit more strolling and before you know it, it's time to pop into FORTNUM & MASON for a fix of high tea. This is a LegsyBoy favourite, and luckily the staff seem to have forgotten the last time we ventured here for such pleasantries resulted in Liam throwing our scones at the patrons on the next table! A pot of Royal Jubilee blend tea and 2 scones in a refined environment is not everyone's cup of tea (so to speak), BUT IT IS MINE! Just to make sure they maintain their standards, I return the following day for an encore performance....hey I'm only here for a couple of days after all! I round out my day by checking out another movie - this time it's Kathryn Bigelow's "Zero Dark Thirty", a brilliant telling of the Bin Laden manhunt. Whilst not as good as the extraordinary "Hurt Locker", it is nonetheless superb and surprisingly intense given one already knows the outcome. Rating:**** (Travel Tip: Going to the movies is outrageously expensive in London, so make sure you watch as many films as possible on the flight over).


Fernandez & wells - Scrumptious

Pasteis de Nata and a Stumpy

Breakfast/morning tea the following day is at another little hole in the wall (AndyBoy has really been doing his homework). I'm at 73 Beal Street in a quaint cafe called 'FERNANDEZ & WELLS', tiny but swelling with deliciously fresh goodies. Following instructions to the letter, I order a 'Pasteis de Nata and Stumpy'. In return, I get a Portuguese tart and strong latte in a stumpy (literally) glass; the verdict - FABULOUS! And LegsyBoy is also beginning to notice a difference in the attitude of cafe staff in London - they have finally become aware that customers are important and actually have a CHOICE where they go). From here it's just a hop to HAMLEYS, childrens' heaven (and if you like slot cars then a visit to the top floor is a must for 'big' boys too!).

Hamleys - Toy Mecca

As my time is running out I don't have time to check out the last cafe the Haworths have recommended, but as they haven't put a foot wrong in judging the LegsyBoy tase buds, I have no doubt that "COFFEE WORKSHOP" at 75 Wigmore Street won't disappoint when I eventually return. Before the John Murry concert I duck around the corner to the BAY OF BENGAL in Greek Street for a quick curry - it is London after all. I settle on a glass of house white which should have been confined to hand to hand combat, 5 glasses of tap water (not bad for someone who rarely drinks the stuff!!), some samosas and a Madras chicken curry. I can't be totally certain, but I'm pretty sure it was nice; my taste buds were a burnt out wasteland and my eyes couldn't focus because of the constant stream of tears. Seriously, unless you have a masochistic self harm streak,why would you ever go up to the Vindaloo level!


Lantana - A slice of Oz in Fitzrovia

Check out that latte!

On my hit and run second visit, I again wandered the street of Fitzrovia and stumbled across a wonderful little eatery in Charlotte Place. Just around the corner from Roka, the name LANTANA reeked of familiarity; depending upon which state you live in, it is of course either a native Australian bush or a (native Australian!) weed. With hope in the air, I entered to be greeted by Celeste and her fellow Australian staff!! This was my big chance, so I sheepishly requested "VERY STRONG SKINNY LATTE  please"...no problems!!! And lo, I ws blessed with a glorious brew that had just the right amount of crema on top of the swirling coffee coloured (well what other colour would it be?) liquid. It was raining outside, but not with the same gusto I was pouring the liquid down my throat.

Not So Sunny Goodge Street

I departed via Goodge Street, Waterloo and London Bridge tube stations for the British Music Experience with a satisfied smile and a takeaway in my hand! With Richard Thompson on the menu that evening, my day was all but made. It dawns on me that, finally, with the subtle help of expatriate Australians (be they baristas like Celeste, or patrons like Kate & Andrew who demand a decent brew), the London coffee scene is slowly taking a turn for the better. Makes you want to be there, eh........

But Where's The Bridge???

Not A Sunset In Sight

Coming up: Record stores, book stores, and the British Music Experience.

TIME IS A TRAVELLER.........



Lacrima's Birthday Cake

The Family Cake

Truth be known, I'm rather partial to that old Peter Allen chestnut; but I digress........time does, indeed, travel, and I've recently had cause to cross off yet another decade. Can it really be 10 years since the roasting in the Betty Cuthbert Room at the Field Of Dreams (i.e. the mighty MGC for the uninitiated!) with the wondrous sounds of Spectrum as the perfect accompaniment; it really does seem like yesterday. Anyway......

Dulcinea, Lacrima & Don L

Mike, Bill & Robbo (Spectrum) showed a total lack of commitment and weren't here to surprise me this time, so I made do with playing "I'll Be Gonz" a few times. On the Saturday evening, Dulcinea had booked a restaurant for us to celebrate the occasion. At 8.00pm, our Romanian wonder woman Lacrima arrived witha birthday cake for me, to babysit los ninos and stake a claim on her old bedroom downstairs. The kids love her (and it's reciprocated) and by evening's end Aimee had taught Lacrima how to play a tune on the piano. At 9.00pm our taxi arrived at the restaurant, spot on time; punctuality is something that is not often given much consideration here in Spain and so when the car door was opened and a doorman enquired "Mr & Mrs Leeden?" I was taken aback - IMPRESSIVE! We had arrived at SERGI AROLA GASTRO, the award winning, Michelin rated restaurant of the feted chef from Barcelona. The doorman set a standard of service and excellence that was maintained for the whole night; we were made to feel special. It's a surprisingly small establishment with only about 15 tables and the lighting and decor is subdued; on reflection, I reckon this is all designed to bring the focus on the main game - the exquisite food.


Ten Years Per Finger

Bellini

Finca Allende Martires 2011

As we contemplate the Catalan inspired menu, we enjoy a martini (shaken, not stirred) and the requested olive brought a look of "well what else would you have with  martini" from our sommelier Daniel Poveda. The current flavour of the month, so to speak, with Spanish chefs is 'molecular', i.e. less is more via little explosions of taste, and Sergi is no exception. The wine chosen for the evening is a Finca Allende Martires 2011, a dry white that Daniel advises is one of Rioja's finest, a 'fat' wine (we ultimately deduce that he means 'full bodied') that proves to live up to his description. Our maitre is Sara Fort and she is fantastic all evening. And so to the kai kai. One of the things I love about truly fine restaurants/chefs is that they inspire you to try food (asparagus notwithstanding!) that you ordinarily may dislike or are, at best, be dubious about.



Patatas Bravas

We start with a 'Selection of Snacks & Classics in One Bite', a tapas if you will. it is inventive and glorious. There's a Bellini served in a stone bowl that melts in the mouth (I've never had one of the famous Italian 'cocktails' before), Anchovies Candy with Olives Ice-Cream (extraordinary, the anchovies - which I dislike normally - literally crackle on the tongue), a mouth watering mini Spanish Omelet; then followed a Crispy Cornet with Baby Prawns (so tiny you'd be arrested for serving them in Australia!), a Sandwich of Fried Squid and Mayonnaise, Salmorejo Sphere (a delicious Andalusian gazpacho), and tasty Patatas Bravas (one of my favourites. Dulcinea isn't a fan of PB, but unfortunately for me she IS a fan of Sergi's!). We also had what was an absolute culinary highlight, as surprising as it was delicious; the False Sandwich Stuffed With Cheese & Ham (seriously!) was sublime as it literally dissolved on the tongue - I don't know how  he did it, but it's made our Breville waffle iron redundant! And so to the main attractions...........


Snacks & Classics

False Ham & Cheese Sanger

Crispy Cornet & Fried Squid Sanger





Spanish Omelet



Anchovies Candy & Olive Ice-Cream

Dulcinea enjoyed Smoked Beetroot Raviolis with Celery Consomme whilst I savoured "Bull Negre" with Red Prawn from Roses and Seasonal Mini Vegetables; you should know that Bull Negre is Catalan Blood Sausage (if you've watched Rick Stein's "Spain" culinary TV show then you will have seen how it's made; as I've pointed out, delicacies I would not normally entertain proved to be delicious!). We both enjoyed Roasted Sardines with Green Beans from Kenya, Black Trumpet & Sobrasada (no, I don't know why the beans had to come from Kenya and not locally, Black Trumpet is a black fungi, and sobrasada is a catalan cured sausage....mmmm, mmmm). Surely not, but yes, MORE food...........Monkfish "All Cremat" Style, Half-Comfit Tomato and Escarole in Romesco Sauce Vinaigrette tasted as good as it sounds, and the final main dish was "Seasonal Game" - Wood Pigeon Roasted in its Own Juice, Hare, Venison with Truffled Apple Bonbon; the pigeon was a bit chewy for my liking, the hare a little better, but the venison was 'to die for' - simply scrumptious.


Seasonal Game

Dang - What Was it...

Bull Negre & Red Prawn

Smoked Beetroot Raviolis

Roasted Sardines

 
 








For that "Sweet Moment", we chose Comte Cheese (30 months old) with Canary Island Stewed Potatoes a la Creme with White Wine, a 'Catalan Cream' Souffle and Chocolate 'Gives Life'; the chees and potatoes was unusual, to say the least, but very tasty, the chocolate divine, and I thought Dulcinea would almost burst with the souffle. It was a memorable conclusion to a memorable dinner. By the time we arrived home, it was 1.00am, my birthday, and Buzz was asleep in our bed.....

Catalan Crean Souffle

Cheese & Spuds - Yum!!

Chocolate Gives Life

 The actual BIG DAY started with los ninos cooking and bringing me breakfast in bed - they were the best scrambled eggs I've ever had, containing that special ingredient that only your children can provide! It was then to the computer for a session of Skype to family and friends with varying degrees of success, before I was showered with lovely gifts and well wishes. I don't think I'm any different to most people in downplaying the celebrating of milestone birthdays, but when they occur it does cause one to reflect. And, whilst for obvious reasons, family and friends (and Spectrum) were in absentia in Madrid, Dulcinea had been working behind the scenes (a skill she has clearly perfected!), and the book she gave me containing so many messages from family, from friends, from you, makes me realise how blessed I am, and with it the first real feeling of missing home. If I haven't written directly then it's only because I'm still going ...



You know, life's amazing; I can't get over how each decade just gets better and better - it is what you make it, and so here we are living life to its fullest in Madrid (if only i could master the language!). I don't know the secret to eternal youth, but I'm pretty sure it includes having two adorable children that don't just force you to think young but make you want to be young, a daily fitness regime that includes at least one 'cafe con leche y dos eclair', maintaining a zestful appearance by refusing to cut one's hair, sticking to the height/weight ratio of 189cm/86kg (look good - feeeel good!), an excellent heart surgeon is advisable as well as a 'nether regions' surgeon you trust implicitly (luckily I have both!), and last but best of all, a Dulcinea eager to learn from an expert - I am a SEXAGENARIAN after all!

Dulcinea & CumpleanosBoy (Photo by Liam)

What Keeps Me Young (At Heart At Least)